Your Candy Bars are About to Get Smaller and You Can Thank Michelle Obama

Don’t let the big government size fool you. It’ll be less fun to eat than “Fun Size.”

Start stocking up on king-size candy bars now because soon, the junk food aisle will be a lot healthier thanks to a leftover Michelle Obama initiative.

Mrs. Obama chairs the Partnership for a Healthier America foundation which she helped found as First Lady. PHA wants everyone eating smaller candy bars and drinking more water, so, over the next five years, the organization has pressured more than a dozen food companies and candy makers to deliver healthier options to grocery checkout aisles and convenience stores.

Climbing on board are Mars, Nestle, and PepsiCo, just to name a few. Pepsi has promised the PHA to reduce sugar, saturated fats, and sodium in its products as well as make investments in healthier product lines in the future. The candy makers will cut portion sizes on half their products, including snacks like Snickers, M&Ms, Butterfingers, and Starburst, to 200 calories or fewer by 2022, The Washington Post reports. In addition, these companies have also promised to move the nutrition information to the front of the packaging. (Because it burns too many calories to turn the package over and that's just too personally responsible for a lowly citizen.)

WaPo praised Obama’s food meddling in the midst of President Trump freezing much of the policies of the Obama administration with this headline: “The one piece of Michelle Obama's legacy that Trump can't wreck.”

But what’s underneath this so-called partnership is much more iniquitous, as their report explains:

In most cases, these partnerships are binding: PHA requires that its partners sign legal contracts to that effect. In exchange for making, and keeping, these public health commitments, the foundation provides companies publicity, networking and technical assistance. An independent third-party auditor monitors compliance, and PHA can sue partners who violate the terms of their agreement.

"I love what Partnership for a Healthier America is doing -- it's not just window-dressing," said Nancy Roman, chief executive of Capital Area Food Bank in Washington, D.C., which is also announcing a PHA commitment. "You make a contract, they come measure your progress. They keep your feet to the fire on this."

Apparently it wasn’t enough to make the children of America suffer through awful public school meals she initiated for, now the entire country must bow to what Nanny Obama thinks is best for each and every one of us.

You’re going to need a laugh after this depressing story. So, here’s comedian Brian Regan hilariously slaying the ridiculous “serving size suggestion:”


Photo credit: JeepersMedia via / CC BY