NY Dems Want Law to Force Tide to Redesign Laundry Pods So Morons Won’t Eat Them

If it would help save JUST ONE person it’d be worth it, right?

Many decades ago when people were looking to what the 21st century might hold, they probably didn’t think that teenagers would be eating laundry soap to get famous — or poisoned — on the Internet. Unfortunately, here we are.

And because of the stupidity of the few who have done so, the mighty hand of the nanny state feels the need to step in and make a minuscule problem affect everyone else.

In steps the saviors of peoplekind from New York’s Democratic Party: State Sen. Brad Hoylman and Assemblywoman Aravella Simotas, who introduced a law that would force Procter & Gamble, the makers of Tide Pods, to completely redesign its product and add even more warnings to the label in hopes it will make teenagers less likely to put them in their mouths. Clearly, these legislators have spent very little time on YouTube.

The bill would require Tide to stifle its designers to create an uninteresting, single-color laundry pod and wrap them individually with an included warning label on each packet. Yeah, warning labels always stop idiots. But as Democrats always say, “If it would help save just one life, it’d be worth it!”

P&G responded to the latest craze and assured the public that there are no studies that indicate colorful packaging increases any risks in ingesting chemical products. The company also said adding extra plastic wrap around each individual Tide Pod would be bad for the environment AND create yet another ingestion hazard.

The Blaze adds:

According to the American Association of Poison Control Centers, there have been over 80 cases of intentional misuse of Tide Pods reported so far in 2018, up from only 53 cases in all of 2017.

Although a number of cases of child poisoning due to Tide Pods are reported every year, that number is not out of line with other, similar household products, which strongly suggests that the product is not objectively more dangerous to children due to its packaging or colorful design.

This is a clear-cut case of teenagers being stupid teenagers and it’s not the fault of the manufacturer. Not to mention, households have plenty of other laundry detergent to choose from in many forms if they feel a small pod is a danger for their family. But the government must govern.

Both Hoylman and Simotas held a news conference on Tuesday where the real reason behind their crusade was ultimately revealed. (SPOILER ALERT: It’s not about the children.)

“Convenience should never trump safety,” Simotas said. “The companies that manufacture these items should be more concerned with public safety than with profit.”

“Put people over profits and good measures, like we’re suggesting today, over good marketing,” demanded Hoylman.

Ah, yes, the evils of capitalism strike again.

Photo by Au Kirk on Foter.com / CC BY