Michelle O Gets Politically Correct Reading ‘Night Before Christmas’

Kick Santa’s unhealthy habits, kids.

Michelle Obama teamed up with TV personality Ryan Seacrest and the big man himself, Santa Claus, to read the classic Christmas tale, ’Twas the Night Before Christmas for some excited kids at the Children’s National Medical Center in Washington, D.C. But instead of just the story, the kids ended up getting lectured on Santa’s unhealthy habits — specifically his round belly and use of pipe tobacco.

We all know the story: Santa lands on the roof and then emerges from the chimney with his bag full of toys all covered in soot -- and taking a drag off his pipe. Mrs. Obama read this part, and added a bit of her own commentary:

"'The stump of a pipe' -- Uh, I think St. Nick gave up smoking. This was a long time back… but way back in the day, ‘The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath.’”

Seacrest added his two cents later when the story describes Santa’s weight problem. You can tell he was aware this part might come across as fat shaming, and so he offered a trigger warning:

“‘He had a broad face and a little round belly that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.’ — I mean this as a compliment — ‘He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.’”

Encouraging kids not to smoke and to stay active isn't exactly bad advice, but wouldn't it be nice not to have political correctness shoved down our throats at every opportunity? It's Christmas after all. But at least it’s not as over the top, and not nearly as funny, as the one Larry the Cable Guy read on TV once. This will put the Merry back in your Christmas: