Hookers for Hillary Launches

No word on Streetwalkers for Bill.

On Tuesday, Hookers for Hillary, a group of prostitutes at the Nevada Moonlite Bunny Ranch, released a campaign video for the former First Lady. Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof has been a longtime Democratic supporter. Hooker Krissy Summers explained to The Daily Beast:

This is the first time ever that over 500 independent contractors, or as you call it legalized prostitutes, were able to get health care and that's because of the Affordable Care Act. Whether someone agrees with legal prostitution or not it's not right to take health care away from us. We pay into taxes too.

Hookers for Hillary has set up a website, as well, which says that Hillary should be respected because she can “take powerful men from oppressive cultures and make them bend to her will.” Their website sets up a four-point endorsement for Hillary. First, health care reform:

Hillary Clinton, as part of her husband’s administration, envisioned health care reform in the 1990’s, long before President Obama was able to sign it into law…the Bunnies want to protect the quality health coverage that they now enjoy.

Foreign policy experience:

As Secretary Of State, Hillary Clinton gained invaluable experience negotiating with foreign leaders, and the Bunnies can definitely relate to negotiating through a language barrier. The Bunny Ranch entertains customers from all around the globe, and the girls have great respect for any woman who can take powerful men from oppressive cultures and make them bend to her will.  With her eye on the international landscape, the Bunnies are confident that President Hillary Clinton would also avoid a repeat of the Secret Service’s Colombian prostitution scandal by making sure that her detail “buys American.”

Support for agencies that protect the public’s health:

Nevada’s mandatory testing of legal prostitutes for sexually transmitted diseases is a successful example of effective government regulation.  While Republican candidates have questioned the need for agencies like Health and Human Services (HHS) & the Food And Drug Administration (FDA), the Bunnies applaud Hillary’s recognition of the fact that responsible government oversight is a key to protecting the public’s health from widespread disease.

Prevention of a return to supply side economics:

Bill Clinton presided over the most prosperous time in Bunny Ranch history, which coincided with a tax increase on the wealthiest Americans such as brothel owner Dennis Hof. The Bunnies recognize that thriving economies are built from the bottom up, where the vast majority of their clients originate. A return to relying on the disproven theory of trickle-down economics would only serve to exclude the vast majority of hard-working Bunny Ranch clients from having the discretionary income to enjoy with their favorite Bunny.

Air Force Amy explained, “I really think it's the woman behind the man that makes the man, so let's cut out the middle man and get a woman in office!”

Actually, in the case of Hillary Clinton, it's the woman behind the man that destroys the women beneath the man.