Last week, Fox News contributor Deroy Murdock compared Bill de Blasio to George Wallace, claiming Bill’s anti-charter rampage is so hard on inner-city kids, it’s basically another form of segregation. The equally black Thomas Sowell agrees. On Tuesday he wrote an article entitled “The Left Versus Minorities” that stated the mayor’s love of African Americans has been “definitively exposed as a fraud.”
Crusading for civil rights used to be way cooler. It was a bunch of guys in rat pack suits driving a bus into a sea of rednecks and fighting to the death. Then they went on to the next town. Today their crusade is more like that scene in Animal House where John Belushi says, “Who’s with me?” and charges out of the frat house alone. Have any of these shrieking liberals checked in with the people they’re fighting for?
“It is time for us to face the fact that our revolution has stalled” says a remarkably naïve cover story in Time Magazine by Lean In author Sheryl Sandberg, “A truly equal world would be one where women ran half of our countries and companies and men ran half of our homes.” Apparently the fact that ALL women are not represented in the workforce is some kind of sexist screw up and a huge drain on our workforce. It’s fun to imagine the dystopia that would result from their civil rights utopias. “You’re free,” you announce to all the housewives in Guatemala as they are ushered to the factories, “No need to waste your time at home with those ball and chains you call kids.” The feminist liberators are then told “¿qué coño” and assume it’s some strange Xinca term expressing gratitude.
Feminists also take it as a given that the restriction of reproductive rights is proof there’s a War on Women. They tell us it’s going to take a revolution but eventually, equality will be achieved and all the women in the country will be able to abort whatever they want, whenever they want. Unfortunately for the crusaders, about half the women in America don’t want this so-called right. If you liberated them tomorrow they’d say, “Er, thanks, but we’re pro-life.” If you thought hearing millions of Spanish women yell “¿qué coño” sounded weird, wait’ll you hear half of America yell, “AAAWKwaaaard.”
Feminists would argue it’s just grumpy old white ladies who are pro-life and the cause is really about impoverished blacks but here in New York, the number of black babies aborted recently exceeded the number who were born. It’s hard to rally support when you’re not allowing your supporters to be born in the first place.
“There are no black people in my yoga classes and I’m suddenly feeling very uncomfortable with it” lamented xoJane’s Jen Caron last month. It drives her nuts that people of color are denied all the intangible assets stretching together delivers. Why are they constantly shunned from the gates of yoga studios? I’m guessing it’s for the same reason they’re being denied access to Cuddle Parties: They’re not. This assumption of mutual diversity has climbed all the way up to the White House. Obama has allotted billions to the idea of multicultural neighborhoods from coast to coast. It’s a wonderful way to bless black America with all the gifts being around whites entails. Why, black neighborhoods could finally have fancy, organic grocery stores like Trader Joes! They would learn all about “nutritional science.” If anyone had thought to check in with the lowly negroes they are trying to rescue, they’d discover these people don’t want Trader Joes in their neighborhood, and that’s at least partly because it will attract too many white people. The whole debacle is reminiscent of when FDR assumed the people of Harlem hated their own homes so he leveled them to make something better – and then didn’t. Leave these people alone for crying out loud. You’re killing them with kindness.
Liberals scoff at people who say, “Some of my best friends are black” but judging by the way they behave, I don’t think liberals have ever met a black person. At a Trayvon Martin demonstration last summer, some bearded revolutionary grabbed a black woman’s megaphone and told the world how sick he is of the 1%ers and “white supremacy” hogging all the rights while “the working class, black and brown people, LGBTQ people, we don’t get democracy.” Imagine his chagrin when a black woman grabs the megaphone and says, “This ain’t about no gay shit!” I wouldn’t be surprised if a gay man grabbed the megaphone after her and said, “He doesn’t represent us either, honey.”
The media class and Hollywood keep hammering us with the allegation that gays are exactly the same as us and being homosexual is not a sin but you may want to ask some gays about it before you ruin their fun. Many a homo I know loves being different. They get off on the fact that it’s a sin. It’s like when you’re teacher tells you to stop laughing in class and all of a sudden every joke is too hilarious to hold in. Judy Guerin-Cunningham of the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance totally rejects the normalization of LGBT culture. “I’m opposed to same sex marriage because I’m opposed to marriage” she says, “Just as we’re finally getting the state out of our bedrooms – why would I support inviting them back in?” I don’t doubt that the vast majority of gays want the right to marry but the numbers who actually want to marry are greatly exaggerated. Normalization is about as appealing to gays as it is to punk rockers. Besides, having sex to procreate is a wonderful feeling, but if you take that out of the equation, sin is one of the few things left to spice it up!
After September 11th, The Onion News Network ran an interview where comedy writer Miles Grose plays an Al Qaeda operative who is furious at the left for claiming 9-11 is an inside job because him and his organization worked their asses off making it happen. “Bush and his administration are a den of jackals, there is certainly some common ground there” the terrorist claims “[but] How would you like it if you spent two months in a mountain cave, sleeping on rocks, planning something really special, only to have someone take the credit away from you?” This was a parody but the modern left has become so out of touch with reality, it’s hard to come up with jokes that aren’t true.
Liberals are so sure of themselves and love with such reckless abandon, they always hurt the people they’re purporting to help. They free mothers from their children, allow pro-lifers to kill babies, give blacks stuff white people like, and allow gays to be straight. The left are deeply committed to their oppressed friends but with friends like liberals, who needs enemies?
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Gavin McInnes is the CCO of Rooster NY and author of several books including The Death of Cool. He lives in New York with his wife and three kids.
