Woman Engaged to Marry a Chandelier

“You can't control who you fall in love with and things just went from there."

If anybody was looking to marry 33 year-old Amanda Liberty of Leeds, England, they better move fast, because they've got competition in the form of her fiance. Who is an inanimate object. More specifically, a chandelier named Lumiere. 


Yes, like that Lumiere. The woman is marrying an inanimate object, which is a complete debasement of marriage and a symptom of the total collapse of society; could she not at least have given it a more creative name?

Being a modern woman, and the lone human in the relationship, Liberty didn't wait around for Lumiere to propose to her but, rather, proposed to "her" on Valentine's Day (Yes, Lumiere is a "she"). Another modern facet of their relationship? It's an open one. Liberty is currently dating 25 other chandeliers, and chooses one from her collection to sleep with each night. Lumiere understands

None of my chandeliers are jealous of each other, they understand that I love them all for all of their different personalities. For example, I love kissing and cuddling Lumiere, but I sleep with Jewel every night, as she is portable and very nice to cuddle.

She "met" Lumiere on eBay last year and had her shipped over from Germany. "I couldn’t stop thinking about her and how beautiful she was — she has such a beautiful shape, and I could feel really amazing energy coming from her," she said, "Although I knew it would be tricky to get her home, I knew I needed to find a way to make her mine."

Liberty identifies not as heterosexual or homosexual, but as objectum sexual (OS). “You can't control who you fall in love with and things just went from there,” Liberty said. In fact, she got her name from the Statue of Liberty, with which she was previously in love. Erika Eiffel (Yeah, Eiffel. You know why.) says that there are no psychological problems behind OS. “OS people have a spectrum just as society does from one extreme to the next. It's a misconception that OS people only love objects and cannot relate to people on any level," she said, "The reality is, most OS people are social but choose not to expose themselves to public scrutiny and jeopardize the balance they have established.” In 2017, we are supposed to embrace this madness.

So, anyway, here's the happy couple. 




Here's a closeup.