An opinion piece penned by Susan Patton for The Wall Street Journal sharing marrying advice to young women met a sarcastically fueled rebuttal from Alexandra Petri in The Washington Post.

For the WSJ, Patton advised young women in college to "smarten up and start husband-hunting." She says too many young women focus on their professional achievements and ignore their future plans for marriage. She warns that if you wait 10 years out of college to find a husband, you will be competing with much younger women for attention. She advises the opposite:

You should be spending far more time planning for your husband than for your career — and you should start doing so much sooner than you think.

Although Patton says a man may feel emasculated by a woman who is smarter or who earns more, she does not knock a woman getting an education. In fact, she says college is the perfect environment to find a "like-minded, age-appropriate" man. She also cautions women not to offer "intimacy without commitment" using the old saying, "Men won't buy the cow if the milk is free."

Finally, Patton reminds women to not fall for the "P.C. feminist line that has misled so many young women for years:"

There is nothing incongruous about educated, ambitious women wanting to be wives and mothers. Don't let anyone tell you that these traditional roles are retrograde.

But as one might expect, that just infuriates feminists. Such is the case for Alexandra Petri of The Washington Post. As her moniker reveals, she "puts the 'pun' in punditry." And she does just that; In a bloated, sarcastic tone, Petri picks apart Patton.

Petri's "pun" piece starts off by saying:

Don’t listen to Susan Patton, who is trying to sugar-coat it. Here is the REAL, COLD, HARD, UGLY TRUTH, in BLOCK CAPITALS.

Petri of course reads "failure" into Patton's narrative implying that if women are alone they have failed. And her ruffled feminist feathers think that Patton's advice to marry younger is really meant to mean a woman's biological clock is ticking:

Let’s get real: Every day that passes, you move closer to the grave, and your womb shrivels.

Do you want happiness? I’m sorry, what was that? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of your womb shriveling.

Petri also reverses that sage old advice:

Men enjoy casual sex as much as the next guy, but remember what Grandma said: A guy can sleep with a cow, but he would not then marry that cow.

And to further espouse the feminist anecdote, Petri unloads the man-hate, as if falling in love with a man is as akin to something as horrible as a 50s sitcom:

Professional aspirations don’t keep you warm at night, unless you aspire to be an insulation specialist. And what woman does? No, what you want is a family and a man, especially if you, too, want to succeed someday. Without a man, who is going to go joust in tourneys with your favor on his helm? Who is going to come home to enjoy your meat pies and tastefully cross-stitched apron? Who will carry a briefcase around while you stare at him over your clasped hands? Who will wear things after you knit them? YOU?

Petri spins Patton's concern of emasculating men when it comes to women being more educated:

Imagine: You give birth to your first child, and you smile into the eyes of its father, and you want to say something about semiotics, and you CAN’T.

This is modern feminism. But it doesn't have to be true feminism. It has just been twisted as can be seen in one last pun-tastic bit from a full-fledged feminist writer:

Lean in, but just a little bit, so that your cleavage is visible. You don’t want to lean in too far, or you might emasculate your man by accident.