The mainstream media were sent a very clear message with the election of Donald Trump. They were forced to admit their malicious bias and some promised to do better. 

Well, so much for that. 

The Washington Post has settled nicely back into its same old routine and is now providing readers with politically correct hairstyle advice. Talk about “fake news.”

Staff writer Monica Hesse and feature writer Dan Zak are in a panic over a hipster haircut that has been worn over the last few years by skinny-jeaned liberals, rockers, celebrities and sports stars alike. Why the sudden hysteria? Because they recently saw the video of a conference room full of white nationalists sporting the hair-do and suddenly it's the most racist thing they’ve ever seen.

“Does this haircut make me look like a Nazi?” the headline asks. Yes, concludes the article because it’s “The same haircut. The exact same haircut [emphasis theirs]” as those white nationalists, led by Richard Spencer who wears the hairstyle, shouting “Hail Trump” in the video.

They’re right. The haircut is straight out of Nazi Germany, sported by the Hitler Youth. Adolf Hitler styled his with a particular brand of racist, murderous rage. But in the 70 years since World War II, the hairstyle has lost most of its association with that dark time, unlike Hitler’s trademark Charlie Chaplin mustache which everybody steers clear of, besides the few attention seekers.

But liberal hipsters don’t typically have a good grasp of history, so a hairstyle is just a hairstyle to be copied because another hipster is wearing it. The writers are totally fine with liberals wearing the cut because it has been “repurposed in the 21st century by young people whose ethos is radical safe-space inclusiveness, not ethnophobic separatism with eugenic undertones.” But when they saw “literal white nationalists” wearing it in Trump’s 2016, panicked hipsters were sent running to their local barbershops to free themselves from accidental white supremacy:

“I posted on Facebook yesterday that it’s probably time to think about getting rid of my haircut,” says Joseph Phelan, a community organizer and anti-racism activist who lives in Brooklyn and acquired the haircut several years ago at an old-fashioned barber shop. Phelan read a profile on Spencer and was dismayed to learn his haircut is fondly if ironically referred to by many wearers as a “fashy.”

Phelan thinks it’s useful for white nationalists to sport a costume of sorts, so that they might be recognized by the rest of the population. He knows that being upset about a haircut is really being upset about their insidious infiltration into society. “I really wish they would get off my haircut, and get off my people.”

Hess and Zak write, “Until a few weeks ago, you saw a man with that haircut and assumed he might be a good person to hit on, or to buy small-batch beer from, or to ask the whereabouts of the nearest bicycle shop. Now you see him and wonder if he’s trying to deport half the nation.”

This overreaction has even caused many liberals to declare desperation at such a level they would be willing to go back to the mullet rather than appear racist. But these two WaPo writers think there’s a better way: “make the white nationalists get a different haircut — so the rest of us can identify them.”

They end suggesting these “neo-Nazis” try out some other out-of-date hairstyles including the “double man bun,” “The Rachel,” or even “The Trump” — “Perhaps it’s time your scalp throws its support behind the man you see as your hero.” As a last resort, they suggest, “A mangy mishmash of bald spots and several long strands of hair-stuff that wrap multiple times around your head and smell like cheese and evil: Your hairstyle should reflect who you are.” 

Your “new & improved” national media, ladies and gentlemen.