Senators Try Using Talking Stick, End Up Throwing It

Switched to a ball "because it’d be safer than a stick."

For those of you who think that Congress is a place for adults to take their ideas and discuss them respectfully while moving the country forward, I have news for you. It's more like a group of unsupervised children running amok.

Politico reported that during the shutdown negotiations, Sen. Susan Collins (pictured above) tried to manage a group of at least two dozen senators in a way frequently used by those teaching small children - by holding a talking stick. No Senator was allowed to speak unless holding the special stick which, according to an aide, was a Maasai leadership stick that Sen. Heidi Heitkamp (D-N.D.) gave Collins a few years ago.

At one point, Sen. Lamar Alexander of Tennessee hurled the stick to Sen. Mark Warner of Virginia after Warner interrupted him, nearly breaking a glass elephant in Collins's office. She suggested that they switch to a little ball "because it’d be safer than a stick," an aide said. How grown up.

The talking stick practice is used in some native American cultures but, given how seriously they appeared to be taking it, it reminded us of something else. 

Remember when Torrance dropped the spirit stick in Bring it On and the whole cheerleading squad was cursed? I'm just saying.