From the magazine that gave us the sexy cover pic of Boston bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev comes this new sexy cover pic of Canadian traitor-to-Western-civilization Justin Trudeau, accompanied by the desperate, wistful question, "Why Can't He Be Our President?"
"Is he the free world's best hope?" Rolling Stone asks. If so, then the free world is doomed, but that's OK with Rolling Stone because Justin is just so gosh-darned pretty!
"Join me," begins writer Stephen Rodrick in all seriousness, "as we visit a nation led by a man who wore a Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy T-shirt on national television, rides a unicycle and welcomed 40,000 Syrian refugees with open arms." How quirky and likeable! Compassionate, too! We're swooning already!
The hagiographic article, which I read so you don't have to, goes on to make predictably snide comparisons between Trudeau and President Trump, such as noting that the former's three photogenic children are "still not old enough to warm his seat at next week's G-20 summit or be involved in an espionage scandal." Rodrick makes sure you know that, unlike you-know-who back in Washington D.C., Trudeau respects the press, cares about the planet, is firmly pro-choice, wants to expand Canada's military but doesn't want to take your oil, and reminds Rodrick of Obama, which is the highest praise the left could ever bestow.
Rodrick can't mention often enough how charismatic and charming Trudeau is. At one point when elementary school kids surround Trudeau, grinning and touching his sleeve, Rodrick gushes, "It would have been corny if it had not been so goddamned beautiful."
So as to appear at least a tad balanced, Rodrick points out that Trudeau has made a couple of missteps as Prime Minister, such as when he praised Fidel Castro but neglected to mention "the unseemly portions of the Cuban despot's tenure." Unseemly? That's an epic understatement, but we'll grant that it's about as critical a comment as you'll ever hear from the left about their beloved Cuban dictator.
Rodrick also goes all out to justify Trudeau's recent decision to award terrorist murderer Omar Khadr $10 million for his time at Guantanamo. The Rolling Stone apologist emphasizes that Khadr was only a teen when he "was involved in a 2002 Afghan firefight that left an American soldier dead."
To be clear, the "firefight" didn't passively "leave" an American soldier dead. Khadr pled guilty to killing Sgt. Christopher Speer, making roadside bombs for use against U.S. soldiers, and other charges. That's why he was at Guantanamo, and Justin Trudeau handed him a check for $10 million despite the fact that the vast majority of Canadians opposed the decision.
The Rolling Stone writer never misses an opportunity to note that Canada is a utopia of tolerance and inclusion, where all colors and cultures blend lovingly and respectfully. In fact, Trudeau is arguably the West's most Islamophilic leader and, like too much of Western Europe, his country is in the stranglehold of a politically correct multiculturalism which brooks no criticism of Islam or the mass migration of "refugees" from the Middle East.
Turning a blind eye to this, Rodrick concludes that Trudeau's "land races toward inclusion while our nation builds walls and lusts for an era of vanilla homogeneity that ain't coming back. At this moment, Justin Trudeau's Canada looks like a beautiful place to ride out an American storm."
What's stopping you, Mr. Rodrick? Feel free to move to Canada where you can stare dreamily at Justin and wait things out while Donald Trump makes America great again.
