The People's Cube: Museum of Nothing: Everything Offensive Has Been Removed

Simply imagining - while standing in a large building - is a great way to cleanse your mind of any racist thoughts.

If you're not checking out The People's Cube regularly, you should be. Run by former Soviet dissident Oleg Atbashian, if offers hilarious, brilliant, spot-on satire about the new totalitarianism (actually, it's the old totalitarianism dressed up as new). The site's latest is this commentary on the hot new fad of removing historically offensive statues...

Move offensive statues to a museum? Think again.

In the old days, it was enough to just move statues that we deem offensive from public property to a museum. But that became a huge burden. What if the statues or monuments are too big to be moved? It would be impossible to put Mount Rushmore or Stone Mountain in a museum.

Also, most museums are nonprofit. They receive a tax break and some grants from the government. Therefore, museums leech off public funds and must not contain anything that is offensive (to us.) If everyone doesn't have fun, no one can have fun.

To counteract these inconveniences, and streamline the process, that which we deem offensive must not remain in any museum.

It can be argued that a more aesthetically pleasing experience may be to enter a museum with nothing in it. Simply imagining - while standing in a large building - is a great way to cleanse your mind of any racist thoughts. You will soon forget the offensive art that used to be there, until you remember that racists are still out there. You will leave the empty museum more angry about white privilege than before.

Actually, the whole museum building should be torn down, because it used to contain offensive art. Then you can stand in an empty lot and meditate. But not in the exact spot where racist art used to be in the air. Don't breathe in the racist air.

Progressives typically revere artists, but the whiteness that their art perpetrates will no longer be tolerated. That includes black artists. It doesn't matter how many hours an artist worked on something. If we deem it offensive, it must be destroyed.

If you need inspiration, look to the brave acts of ISIS and the National Socialist German Workers' Party, who attempted to cleanse their cultures of hatred by destroying ancient artifacts and books. Where they failed, we will succeed in ridding the world of all offensive art.