Cruz Jokes That McConnell Wants to Murder Him

“Uh, Ted, why don’t you meet me at the Metro station?”

On Saturday night, The Gridiron Club and Foundation held its 129th annual Spring Dinner. One of the featured speakers at the comedy evening was Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), who joked about his strained relationship with Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY):

Actually, since I’ve been thrown out of our Senate lunches, it’s really nice to be invited to dinner….I’m here officially representing Mitch McConnell.  He asked me himself. And when Leader McConnell wants something, who am I to say no?.... I’ve been watching the second season of ‘House of Cards.’ It’s very realistic, very life-like.  But I was a little worried when I got a late-night call from Mitch McConnell.  He said, “Uh, Ted, why don’t you meet me at the Metro station?”

[SPOILER ALERT] In House of Cards, Kevin Spacey’s Frank Underwood tosses Rooney Mara’s Zoe Barnes into the path of a train in a metro station in DC.

Cruz’s speech also joked about his Canadian citizenship, as well as his quasi-filibuster over Obamacare:

Twenty-one hours and 19 minutes [in the filibuster] -- hearing nothing but my favorite sound. We’re talking Biden territory. And so typical of how this town works, they cut me off just as I was coming to my point….The simple truth is that for a very brief time my family lived on the plains of Calgary. That does not make me a Canadian. Although Elizabeth Warren says that it does make me an Algonquin Indian.