The prevailing desire among the so-called "establishment conservatives" to refrain from doing hatchet jobs on our opponents personal character has an undisputable charm. Beneath their primal instincts to fire onto the national stage with good old fashioned brute-force "lets take it outside" brass knuckle politics, there lies within them that quiet voice of ivy-league persuasion convincing them the victory on Capitol Hill will only be won by eloquence of their moral rectitude, not the mightiness of their will.
Slowly, the barren political landscape they initially see as an entrenched battlefield of right and wrong -- good and evil -- becomes, in their mind at least, a cocktail party of the Jane Austen variety where gentlemanly scholars kindly trot to and fro discussing the different methods by which they balance their checkbooks. Unfortunately, their opponents don't read the same script, and in the midsts of their monologue about "fiscal responsibility," they're already dead on the floor from the knife stabbed in their back.
To sum it up fellow conservatives, the average American voter doesn't care, and will never vote for, your supposed "cure" to this country's debilitating sickness because you have routinely failed to realize the tactics of the enemy you face.
While conservatives are talking about tax cuts, reduced spending, and national security, liberals are talking about reproductive rights, white-privilege, and the sure to come doomsday of carbon emissions. At the heart of all their petty narratives is you, conservatives, the white-privileged, racist, sexist, ignorant, homophobe standing in the way of "hope," "change," and, lest we forget, "progress."
So, with a little inspiration from Democratic strategist James Carville, I have devised a new, easy-to-remember slogan for the 2014 and 2016 campaigns, "It's Anti-Left, stupid!"
Since Jimmy Carter, liberals have not won a single election on a pro-left ticket. When they campaign pro-left (Mondale, Dukakis) they lose. When they go anti-right (Clinton, Obama) they win. Sure, Clinton began his presidency with a pro-left agenda, but once the American people shot him down in the '94 mid-terms he wisened up and skirted to the center. Obama, being a true believer, didn't follow the Clinton model after the Tea Party swept Congress in 2010, and if not for a scathingly effective anti-Romney campaign, depicting the former governor as the literal reincarnation of Satan, he'd be in the waste-bin of history alongside Jimmy Carter as just another one of the left's many failed experiments.
There's no need to sell your platform either, because a majority of Americans already agree with you, indicated by the polls leading up to the 2012 election. Do America a favor, drop the Willy Loman routine and unmask these leftists for what they really are: anti-child, anti-God, anti-business, anti-justice, anti-family, anti-male, anti-marriage, anti-Israel thugs, drunk from the vine of 1960's narcissism.
After the 2012 elections, the R.N.C launched a supremely embarrassing campaign to attract minority voters into the conservative cause in hopes that mean-spirited leftists would stop calling them racist. They must've been kidding! People call you racist with zero evidence to back it up and you respond with a recruitment campaign?
You want to rally black voters to your cause? Tell each and every one of them the truth about Planned Parenthood founder Margaret Sanger whose organization's very mission statement was to annihilate blacks off the face of the earth. Sanger is admired still, to this day, by the likes of Hillary Clinton.
Tell Latinos how our open border policy fattens the wallets of lawless drug cartels, allowing them to terrorize beloved friends and family down in Mexico.
Tell Asians how self-righteous university brats marched down Pennsylvania Ave., chanting "Ho, Ho, Ho Chi Minh! The N.L.F is going to win!" while wearing buttons of murderous Mao.
Tell the pacifist youth about the millions of Southeast Asians we abandoned to a slaughterhouse once that last helicopter fled the Saigon Embassy in 1975. Let them know how the same is happening in Iraq and will happen in Israel if the left gets its way.
Sure, the media will vilify you, they might even call you a bully, but better bully than racist, and when you feel that salacious itch to jump back into that comfortable, lukewarm shallow-end talking of "debt-clocks" and "fiscal years," just remember this simple, easy-to-remember slogan, "It's anti-left, stupid!"
The prevailing desire among the so-called "establishment conservatives" to refrain from doing hatchet jobs on our opponents personal character has an undisputable charm. Beneath their primal instincts to fire onto the national stage with good old fashioned brute-force "lets take it outside" brass knuckle politics, there lies within them that quiet voice of ivy-league persuasion convincing them the victory on Capitol Hill will only be won by eloquence of their moral rectitude, not the mightiness of their will.
Slowly, the barren political landscape they initially see as an entrenched battlefield of right and wrong -- good and evil -- becomes, in their mind at least, a cocktail party of the Jane Austen variety where gentlemanly scholars kindly trot to and fro discussing the different methods by which they balance their checkbooks. Unfortunately, their opponents don't read the same script, and in the midsts of their monologue about "fiscal responsibility," they're already dead on the floor from the knife stabbed in their back.
To sum it up fellow conservatives, the average American voter doesn't care, and will never vote for, your supposed "cure" to this country's debilitating sickness because you have routinely failed to realize the tactics of the enemy you face.
While conservatives are talking about tax cuts, reduced spending, and national security, liberals are talking about reproductive rights, white-privilege, and the sure to come doomsday of carbon emissions. At the heart of all their petty narratives is you, conservatives, the white-privileged, racist, sexist, ignorant, homophobe standing in the way of "hope," "change," and, lest we forget, "progress."
So, with a little inspiration from Democratic strategist James Carville, I have devised a new, easy-to-remember slogan for the 2014 and 2016 campaigns, "It's Anti-Left, stupid!"
Since Jimmy Carter, liberals have not won a single election on a pro-left ticket. When they campaign pro-left (Mondale, Dukakis) they lose. When they go anti-right (Clinton, Obama) they win. Sure, Clinton began his presidency with a pro-left agenda, but once the American people shot him down in the '94 mid-terms he wisened up and skirted to the center. Obama, being a true believer, didn't follow the Clinton model after the Tea Party swept Congress in 2010, and if not for a scathingly effective anti-Romney campaign, depicting the former governor as the literal reincarnation of Satan, he'd be in the waste-bin of history alongside Jimmy Carter as just another one of the left's many failed experiments.
There's no need to sell your platform either, because a majority of Americans already agree with you, indicated by the polls leading up to the 2012 election. Do America a favor, drop the Willy Loman routine and unmask these leftists for what they really are: anti-child, anti-God, anti-business, anti-justice, anti-family, anti-male, anti-marriage, anti-Israel thugs, drunk from the vine of 1960's narcissism.
After the 2012 elections, the R.N.C launched a supremely embarrassing campaign to attract minority voters into the conservative cause in hopes that mean-spirited leftists would stop calling them racist. They must've been kidding! People call you racist with zero evidence to back it up and you respond with a recruitment campaign?
You want to rally black voters to your cause? Tell each and every one of them the truth about Planned Parenthood founder Margaret Sanger whose organization's very mission statement was to annihilate blacks off the face of the earth. Sanger is admired still, to this day, by the likes of Hillary Clinton.
Tell Latinos how our open border policy fattens the wallets of lawless drug cartels, allowing them to terrorize beloved friends and family down in Mexico.
Tell Asians how self-righteous university brats marched down Pennsylvania Ave., chanting "Ho, Ho, Ho Chi Minh! The N.L.F is going to win!" while wearing buttons of murderous Mao.
Tell the pacifist youth about the millions of Southeast Asians we abandoned to a slaughterhouse once that last helicopter fled the Saigon Embassy in 1975. Let them know how the same is happening in Iraq and will happen in Israel if the left gets its way.
Sure, the media will vilify you, they might even call you a bully, but better bully than racist, and when you feel that salacious itch to jump back into that comfortable, lukewarm shallow-end talking of "debt-clocks" and "fiscal years," just remember this simple, easy-to-remember slogan, "It's anti-left, stupid!"
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