The always class-act comedienne Sarah Silverman has proposed legislation against masturbation, believing it some kind of clever "Gotcha!" moment for pro-lifers.
Appearing at the Brooklyn Academy of Music Sunday night, Silverman proposed her ridiculous scenario in an attempt to equate sperm cells with human life based on the most unscientific of reasoning.
"Here's something that I learned that is fascinating, and it’s this: Scientists have found that sperms cells smell," Silverman said. "Like I know sperm smells, but sperm cells have the sense of smell, and you know what that means: Sperm is life."
"And you know what that means," she quipped. "We’ve gotta legislate that sh*t."
Actually, no. Not even close. That doesn't even make sense. In what science book did Sarah Silverman read that sperm cells equal human life? Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique?
True science, which Sarah Silverman never bothered to study up on, actually states that at the moment of conception, a baby receives all of its DNA, hair color, eye color, and gender (nature has a way of dictating that). Basically, everything that makes people human. They can't smell yet, but since Sarah Silverman at age 45 can't tell the difference between humans and sperm, we'll cut her a break.
Sarah Silverman's whole schtick stems from her crusade to fight off current campaigns to mandate women see ultrasounds before getting an abortion, because seeing a human head and hands might just be enough to persuade them of the truth. Silverman doesn't like that, and since she has no facts to back it up, she resorts to silly reductiones ad absurdums that have no basis in reality, even on the scale of reductiones ad absurdums. Her proposal: make men endure a similar procedure to ultrasound every time they go to masturbate.
"What we’ll do is, it’s a real simple procedure," she joked. "We take a really long needle-like basically a GoPro camera and we put it down your penis hole, urethra … then down into your testicular sack."
"We’re going to show you the ultrasound, so you can see the life in your balls," she said.
Perhaps we need to give Sarah Silverman a CAT Scan to see if there is any life inside her brain.
