The New York Times' Maureen Dowd has some advice for presidential candidate Hillary Clinton: "Teach her Republican rivals that bitch is still the new black."

Dowd is referencing an old Saturday Night Live "Weekend Update" sketch in which Tina Fey spoke of Clinton as a "bitch" and said, "Bitches get stuff done." The sketch ended with Fey shouting, "Bitch is the new black!"

Dowd -- who claims, "THE most famous woman on the planet has a confounding problem. She can’t figure out how to campaign as a woman." -- states:

Let’s hope that the hokey Chipotle Granny will give way to the cool Tumblr Chick in time to teach her Republican rivals -- who are coming after her with every condescending, misogynist, distorted thing they’ve got -- that bitch is still the new black.

For Dowd, Clinton's problems began in 2008 when she took advice from two men: her husband and campaign chief Mark Penn. The problem? She "campaigned like a man."

"Hillary scrubbed out the femininity," Dowd writes, saying she was trying to "prove" herself as a strong commander-in-chief.

To further those optics, Clinton also voted for the Iraq war, at her husband's insistence, as well as criticized Saddam Hussein's for supporting al Qaeda.

But to whom did Clinton fall behind in her effort to look strong? "A feminized man," Dowd writes, who was "denouncing" Iraq's invasion, Barrack Obama.

"Now she has zagged too far in the opposite direction, presenting herself as a sweet, docile granny in a Scooby van, so self-effacing she made only a cameo in her own gauzy, demographically pandering presidential campaign announcement video and mentioned no issues on her campaign’s website," Dowd writes in complaint. "Hillary always overcorrects," she adds.

Dowd wants a Hillary that doesn't pander to Iowa voters like she is "trying to trap a husband" utilizing "tips from 1950s advice columnists." She doesn't want a "Macho Man" nor a "Humble Granny." So in order not to fall prey to her own "self-defeating" practices this time around, Dowd advises Hillary to embrace her inner bitch.