Michelle Obama Worth About $45 on Slave Market, ISIS Estimates

"A third of a dinar is too much for her!"

The Daily Surge reports that the latest issue of the Islamic State (ISIS/ISIL) propaganda magazine Dabiq promises that ISIS will bring its slave market to the West, but doubts that an enslaved First Lady Michelle Obama would fetch much.

Saby [taking slaves through war] is a great prophetic Sunnah containing many divine wisdoms and religious benefits, regardless of whether or not people are aware of this. The Sīrah is a witness to our Prophet’s raiding of the kuffār. He would kill their men and enslave their children and women. The raids of the beloved Prophet convey this to us. Ask the tribes of Banī al-Mustaliq, Banī Quraydhah, and Hawāzin about this.

Summayyah also promised to bring this slave market to the West and perhaps enslave even Michelle Obama herself, though she apparently won't bring a high price:

I swear by Allah, O you who feign to be knowledgeable and shout with falsehood in every gathering, surely the slave markets will be established against the will of the politically ‘correct’! And who knows, maybe Michelle Obama’s price won’t even exceed a third of a dinar, and a third of a dinar is too much for her!

A single golden dinar is currently worth about $139 USD.

As the Daily Surge notes, recent reports by human rights groups reveal brutal sexual assaults and unlivable conditions for slaves under ISIS. Some Yazidi women actually prefer suicide to slavery, leading the jihadis to confiscate the head scarves that the young women use to hang themselves.

The Dabiq columnist argues that the real human rights atrocities are prostitutes working in the West:

A prostitute in your lands comes and goes, openly committing sin. She lives by selling her honor, within the sight and hearing of the deviant scholars from whom we don’t hear even a faint sound. As for the slave-girl that was taken by the swords of men following the cheerful warrior… then her enslavement is in opposition to human rights and copulation with her is rape?! What is wrong with you?