Andrew Klavan: International Men's Day

In which our intrepid host, Andrew Klavan, suggests a new holiday to celebrate that oft-under-appreciated segment of the population: Dudes. 


I’m Andrew Klavan and this is the Revolting Truth.

Recently, we all celebrated International Women’s Day by paying tribute to the many achievements of women. For instance, women have given birth to every single person in the world...  except possibly Harry Reid...  They’ve baked some of the best darn tollhouse cookies I’ve ever tasted...  and of course they engineered women’s slow ascent out of a state of perpetual victimhood.

Wherever you looked on International Women’s Day there were pictures of third world women in native dress gazing triumphantly off into the future before returning to their huts to be oppressed by their families and governments because they don’t live in the west where women have it so great.

And we all acknowledged what modern feminists have contributed to society...  like their hellish voices and, of course, their engineering of women’s slow descent back into a state of perpetual victimhood.

Now I can’t say how much I enjoyed International Women’s Day. Really - I can’t.  But it did occur to me that perhaps we should also declare an International Men’s Day.  Or even just National Men’s Day.  Or just Men’s Day at my place.  Bring your own snacks.

On International Men’s Day, we’ll celebrate the contributions of men to various fields of endeavor.  For instance, Technology, where men invented... everything.  Yes, just about everything ever invented was invented by a man.  Except alphabet blocks.   Which are great!  But cell phones, cars, planes, computers, toasters, flush toilets, light bulbs, Scrabble, antibiotics, the ukulele and everything else was invented by a man.

In the realm of science, it was men who discovered every single thing that has ever been discovered except for...  no...  it was everything.  Hey, this International Men’s Day is gonna be a busy day, isn’t it?

Because whether you’re looking at the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel or watching a Shakespeare play or utilizing the freedoms guaranteed by our Constitution, you’re enjoying the work of someone male.

So ladies, on this International Men’s Day, why not show your appreciation for men by giving your man something he’ll enjoy, like sex or...  well, that’s pretty much what we enjoy.  Happy International Men’s Day.

I’m Andrew Klavan with the revolting truth.