A woman posted an open letter on Reddit Thursday night to the child she claims she intends to abort next week.
In a post titled “I am getting an abortion next Friday. An open letter to the little life I won’t get to meet,” the woman tells the child that she is “both sorry and not sorry” for her decision, saying she doesn’t feel the “enchantment” she’s supposed to feel and that it “wouldn't be fair to bring a new life into a world where I am still haunted by ghosts of the life I've lived.”
Here’s the full post:
I can feel you in there. I've got twice the appetite and half the energy. It breaks my heart that I don't feel the enchantment that I'm supposed to feel. I am both sorry and not sorry.
I am sorry that this is goodbye. I'm sad that I'll never get to meet you. You could have your father's eyes and my nose and we could make our own traditions, be a family. But, Little Thing, we will meet again. I promise that the next time I see that little blue plus, the next time you are in the same reality as me, I will be ready for you.
Little Thing, I want you to be happy. More than I want good things for myself, I want the best things for the future. That's why I can't be your mother right now. I am still growing myself. It wouldn't be fair to bring a new life into a world where I am still haunted by ghosts of the life I've lived. I want you to have all the things I didn't have when I was a child. I want you to be better than I ever was and more magnificent than I ever could be. I can't do to you what was done to me: Plant a seed made of love and spontaneity into a garden, and hope that it will grow on only dreams. Love and spontaneity are beautiful, but they have little merit. And while I have plenty of dreams to go around, dreams are not an effective enough tool for you to build a better tomorrow. I can't bring you here. Not like this.
I love you, Little Thing, and I wish the circumstances were different. I promise I will see you again, and next time, you can call me Mom.
Several of the posts below commended the woman for her “beautiful” letter. A few examples:
-OP, that was beautiful. I'm sorry that this is a decision you have to make and I know it must have been extremely difficult to do so, but I commend you for your grace and honesty with yourself. Take care of yourself, love. Know that there are some internet strangers who are wishing the best for you right now.
-I had an abortion at 17, which was 26 years ago. Now I have two beautiful children, and can totally relate to your sentiments. I could never have provided for a child at 17, and I don't regret my decision. Like you, I feel like I put motherhood on hold so that I could later be better equipped to be a good parent and provider.
-This is a lovely thing to write, and this is something you have clearly thought long and hard about. Children are a huge responsibility and should be brought in to this world to be cared for properly. I'm not saying you wouldn't do that, but love alone cannot give them the life they deserve, which you clearly understand. The letter isn't twisted, people react in different ways and writing letters are a way of expressing your feelings to something that is not really tangible. I hope you get through this tough time <3
As TheBlaze notes, the woman at one point replies to those supporting her decision
Thank you, thank you, thank you. It is hard. I feel sick and awful for not wanting something that, at the same time, I want so badly. But I feel better knowing I’m not alone and now that I see it all written out, there’s less madness bumping around in my head, which is nice.
Though many expressed support, some pleaded with her not to carry out the abortion, one woman citing her own decision to abort when she was younger, saying “there is not a day/minute/second that goes by where I don't think of my child that I lost”:
-As someone who had an abortion over 10 years ago and now has 2 children. I have walked in your shoes. It's the most awful, stressful and deeply saddening experience ever. I thought having an abortion would quickly fix the situation and I could return to my "normal" life... I was dead wrong. Don't get me wrong, I am doing fine now, but there is not a day/minute/second that goes by where I don't think of my child that I lost. I can only say to you, think long and hard about this decision before you walk through those cold and lonely clinic doors. Once you're in there, there is no turning back and it will change your life forever whether you think so or not. There are amazing families in this world who would give anything to adopt your child. I will pray for you that your heart is changed and you make a different decision than I did.
-That little life inside you is not a mere clump of cells. You yourself have said that you can feel that sweet little baby moving around inside of you. Please don't take that little life away. There is no coming back. There is no second chance. If you kill your baby, it's dead forever. You are already his or her mother. It is you first duty to protect that child from harm. If you can't do it on your own, then give the child up for adoption to the thousands of good people out there that can't have a child of their own. You will regret this decision the rest of your life if you kill your very own flesh and blood.