Walters Names Hillary Clinton Most Fascinating Person of the Last 20 Years

For her final "Most Fascinating" segment ever, Barbara Walters chose a woman who has spent the last year retired from government, "playing with our dogs, going to movies, just hanging out" - Hillary Clinton.

Walters, who only yesterday said she thought the current Democratic President might have been "the next Messiah" sought to place the most-likely candidate to be the next Democratic President on an equally high pedestal. Hillary is not just the most fascinating person of this year, but of all of the years the segment has existed.

"Now our choice for the most fascinating person of this year, and we believe the past 20."

Clinton is undoubtedly the first person ever to qualify as being more fascinating than anyone else in the world on the basis of doing nothing for a year - "like normal people," according to Walters - but of course her real reason for being on the list is because of what the iconic host hopes she will do in the future.

"This program was born at the start of the Clinton era, and it appears we might be at the dawn of another."

Walters presses for an answer to the question everyone in America still pretends to ask so that Clinton can pretend not to answer:

When will you, if you do, decide whether or not you're going to run for president.

In the surprise of the night, Hillary assures Walters that she has not made up her mind.

The rest of the conversation is a series of inane questions unworthy of the long career of one of America's top interviewers, followed by boiler-plate answers unworthy of a candidate for the presidency.

"Does your husband want you to run" asks the veteran host. "He wants me to do what I think is right," says the woman who has not made up her mind.

"If you ran and you became President, what would they call your husband? First Spouse," asks the hard-hitting newswoman. "I don't know, first mate," replies the woman still struggling with the very difficult decision.

"Do you think it's important that we have a female president," asks the pillar of twentieth-century journalism. "I do," says the coy candidate in waiting before rattling off a list of female leaders from around the world. After all, "it was the women Senators on both sides of the aisle who finally broke the fever over the government shutdown..."

Walters then takes the opportunity to elevate herself as an equal to the most fascinating person of the last two decades.

"You and I have indeed done so many interviews, and I'm so proud of the fact that we've done them."

And then Barbara Walters ends her tenure as the host of the Most Fascinating Person of the Year with the piercing journalistic acumen that has marked her distinguished career.

I would like you to note that I have not asked you about your hair.