December always brings a multitude of "end-of-the-year" lists. Thankfully, Tucker Carlson brightens Friday with a particularly festive rundown: the year's top 100 Racist Things. Enumerated here are Tucker's Top Ten:
1. Tamarisk trees, Palm Springs. The government decided some California trees were racist. Say it isn't so!
2. The ice cream truck song. Newsflash: the chimey melody you associate with a popsicle is actually an evil, racist reference to blackface minstrels. Is the Klondike Bar a slam on lesbians?
3. Credit scores. Nothing says "racial oppression" like a loan-blocking low score.
4. Car insurance. Blacks pay more, because insurance companies love making less money on white people.
5. Crime statistics. Blacks comprise 13% of American the population, and 40% of the imprisoned. Deduction: racist whitey put 'em there!
6. Halloween costumes. A man dressed as a woman is transphobic; any non-white creature is a person of color!
7. Calling Elizabeth Warren "Pocahontas." Because calling a woman who claims to be an American Indian by the name of an American Indian...wait -- I already got lost in the logic.
8. Most of the better Disney movies. Because the crows in Dumbo are jive-talkin' blacks!
9. Dr. Seuss. It's okay to illustrate characters who look silly, but he should've never drawn a Chinese man.
10. White flight. If whites weren't racist, they'd be happy living in the slums of the big city.
Be sure to check out the entire list, and to add your own in the Comments section below.