MSNBC: Benghazi Doesn't Matter Because Panera Bread

Or e-cigarettes. Or something.

On MSNBC's The Ed Show, the host and his guests were predictably pontificating on why the Benghazi story doesn't matter and is just so much hot air. One guest, Holland Cooke, had a particularly strange reasoning.

"I gotta tell ya. When I"m loitering, when I'm listening at Dunkin' Donuts, at Panera, I have never heard the word Benghazi. You know what I hear at Panera? Job interviews. But I don't hear Benghazi."

That's right, the story of Benghazi is so boring and inconsequential and lame that even the people who are loitering at Panera Bread don't talk about it. In sociodemographic studies, a field I just made up, the relative importance of a story is often determined by the "Panera Bread Customer Engagement Scale" or "P-bready" for short. 

Cooke goes on to add that he "heard some great talk radio this week when the stations were talking about things that matter." Because Benghazi doesn't matter you see. What's some old "dead Americans" story got to compete with the big important stuff that matters like soup of the day?

So what should we be talking about? Cooke has the answer for that, too.

"In a number of states and municipalities, e-cigarettes are a hot item now."

That's right kids. That's the new hip thing to rap about. Somebody make sure Greg Gutfeld knows. So, can we, at long last, stop talking about trivial matters like national security, terrorism, and the lives of Americans abroad? After all, what difference at this point does it make?

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