Latest Lunatic Claim: Pumpkin Spice Lattes Fund Trump White Supremacy

“That favorite fall drink of yours is funding rent payments to white supremacy.”

It's that time of year everyone: for pumpkin spice and everything nice and Trump-inspired white supremacy. 

That's right folks. Did you know that every time you buy a delicious, 1000+ calorie pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks, you become an unwitting pawn in the white patriarchy? Well, a random feminist group says so, so it must be true. The Examiner reports:

“Pumpkin spice just doesn’t taste as good when you add a shot of racism,” a feminist leader explained as the fall flavor began to pop up in coffee shops around the country. This is a shockingly weird claim, but it shouldn’t be surprising.

In an editorial published last month, we wrote about the Left’s effort to broaden the boundaries of concepts such as white supremacy and racism in a way that impugns the conduct of well-meaning people. Now, a feminist nonprofit is running a campaign to convince festive imbibers of Pumpkin Spice Lattes they’re unknowingly boosting the cause of white supremacy.

The co-founder of UltraViolet issued the “shot of racism” statement Sept. 6. I knew Starbucks had a secret menu, but the baristas must really be keeping these racism shots on the down low.

Given the severity of the campaign's language, one may assume profits from sales of Starbucks' beloved PSLs are being surreptitiously redirected to the Klan or neo-Nazi groups. In fact, UltraViolet's actual complaint is that a couple of Starbucks' 24,000 locations happen to be in properties owned by the Trump Organization.

According to UltraViolet's logic, by patronizing any of Starbucks' thousands of stores, average consumers of the signature fall beverage are directly boosting the cause of white supremacy. How increased latte profits to the Trump Organization (not even the White House) impact the president's policies on racial matters is left unclear.

We're not quite certain what purpose UltraViolet's stunt serves other than to make a mockery of itself and the entire feminist movement it claims to champion.