GQ Calls Rand Paul ‘A**hole Neighbor’ After He was Attacked in His Own Yard

And with zero facts to go on.

Men’s magazine GQ has it all figured out: Rand Paul is an “asshole neighbor” even though he was the one left with five broken ribs after his next door-neighbor launched a sneak attack in the Kentucky senator’s yard.

Last Friday, Paul’s 59-year-old anesthesiologist neighbor, Rene Boucher, sneaked up on the senator after he had dismounted his riding lawn mower in their gated community in Bowling Green and launched an attack so vicious, Paul was left with five rib fractures and lung contusions. This makes Paul “the worst guy to have as a neighbor,” according to GQ.

With very little to go on, writer Jack Moore theorized:

Initially some speculated that the cause of the dispute might be political; after all Paul's neighbor, Rene Boucher, is a Democrat and Rand Paul is very much not, but Boucher's attorney was quick to try to dispel that idea, saying politics had nothing to do with the attack. I say "try to dispel" as opposed to "dispel," because having now seen the actual cause of the dispute, I'm not so sure you can claim it was totally apolitical.

So, according to interviews conducted by the New York Times, it seems as though the root of the dispute between the two men is landscaping. Yep. Of all the possible causes for these two to dislike each other, it's the oldest neighborly issue in the book: "I don't like the way you take care of your lawn." Now, you might be wondering how that has anything to do with politics? Well, it turns out that Rand Paul is a bit of an asshole about his yard.

After quoting the NY Times article, which explains that Paul grows pumpkins and is a composter but doesn’t always follow community regulations with lawn clippings and leaves, Moore concludes:

So, let's read between the lines a bit here. Rand Paul is an asshole neighbor. He bought a house in a neighborhood that has certain rules with regard to lawns, and he decided that he doesn't need to follow those rules because of his belief in "property rights" that don't actually exist. This is, at its core, the problem with libertarianism. Libertarians don't want to follow the rules that we as a society have agreed upon, because they feel those rules step on their freedoms. And sometimes they might even be right, but that doesn't mean that they are above those rules and can do whatever they want.

Project much?

Moore waited until the end of his article to hammer Boucher:

Now, I don't want to excuse the other side of this. One of the problems with Democrats is we've never met government oversight that we didn't like. And there's a good metaphor for Democratic politics in the obnoxious Home Owners Association rules that drive everyone crazy. So it sure seems like this Rene Boucher was also an asshole, who cared way too much about what his neighbor's yard looked like.

I guess my point in all this is, their dispute may not have been about politics, but it was definitely all about politics.

While Paul’s camp has remained relatively silent about the incident as he recovers before heading back to Washington, Boucher’s attorney Matthew Baker is doing all the talking.

"The unfortunate occurrence of November 3 has absolutely nothing to do with either's politics or political agendas," Baker said in a statement. "It was a very regrettable dispute between two neighbors over a matter that most people would regard as trivial."

An anonymous neighbor told CNN that the alleged feud between Paul and Boucher has been going on for 17 years. But is everyone forgetting the fact that Boucher, an avowed socialist Democrat, viciously assaulted not only his Republican neighbor but a high-ranking senator of the United States? Of course, the media has to protect one of its own.


Photo credit: Gage Skidmore via / CC BY-SA