Bernie Sanders Is So Old...

How old is he?

For a little Friday afternoon political humor, check out this latest post from our friends at The People's Cube satirical site, run by the brilliant Oleg Atbashian. In this post, contributor "Comrade Torcer" takes the hashtag setup  #BernieSandersisSoOld and runs with it:

#BernieSandersisSoOld Marx had him proofread his Manifesto. 

#BernieSandersisSoOld He wrote his last will and testament on parchment.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He sometimes slips up and calls them Bourgeois instead of Billionaires.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He used to call Stalin a young whippersnapper. 

#BernieSandersisSoOld It’s been decades since he’s been able to “#Feel the Bern” for those young Female Comrades. (if you know what I mean)

#BernieSandersisSoOld That he can remember a time when progressives had to lie about being socialists.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He thinks that ‘Progress’ means as going back to ideas of the 1800’s.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He can remember why the Soviet secret police were called Chekists.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He used to say he was ‘Pro’ proletariat. 

#BernieSandersisSoOld he’s forgotten more about Marxism than most youngsters will even know.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He was the first to yell ‘Get off my lawn’!

#BernieSandersisSoOld He remembers when Molotov meant an agreement between Russian and German Socialists and not a cocktail.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He thinks there is a difference between Socialist and Communists.

#BernieSandersisSoOld he wants to end subsidies for the buggy whip industry.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He can remember when ‘Global Warming’ meant the end of the Ice age.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He has a personally autographed copy of the Principles of Communism.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He’s from a time before revision A1 of the M1911.
(That’s for you John Browning fans)

#BernieSandersisSoOld He knows that Hitler was the head of a Socialist Worker’s party.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He can remember when Liberal meant you were in favor of #liberty.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He was there for the Soviet’s very first 5 year plan.

#BernieSandersisSoOld #FeeltheBern means breaking out the preparation ‘H’.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He wants to party like it’s 1849!

#BernieSandersisSoOld He’s forgotten more about Marxism than most youngsters will even know.

#BernieSandersisSoOld He confuses e-mail with sending a telegram.