BEHOLD!! The Cure for Phone Zombies

No, it's not a joke

It’s no secret that zombies are everywhere and more are being infected everyday.

But we’re talking about phone zombies.  People who are so glued to their phone, they walk around mindlessly and aimlessly until they fall into a fountain or bump into “non-infected” people around them.

But there is no reason to worry.  A cure has been found and it’s called the “NoPhone.”

Posted as a Kickstarter campaign, “The NoPhone is a technology-free alternative to constant hand-to-phone contact that allows you to stay connected with the real world.”

The description for the NoPhone reads:

“With a thin, light and completely wireless design, the NoPhone acts as a surrogate to any smart mobile device, enabling you to always have a rectangle of smooth, cold plastic to clutch without forgoing any potential engagement with your direct environment. Never again experience the unsettling feeling of flesh on flesh when closing your hand.”

To use the NoPhone a person only has to take two very simple steps.  Pick it up and hold it.

And the features of the phone are absolutely astonishing.  It is battery free, shatterproof, waterproof, and there is no upgrades necessary.

The size of the phone is also pretty awesome.  It boasts a Height of 5.5 inches (140 mm), Width of 2.6 inches (67 mm) and a Depth of 0.29 inches (7.3 mm). 

It weighs between 2.82 ounces and 3.5 ounces.

If you are worried about the hottest selfie apps, don’t fret because you can purchase a reflective mirror which is super easy to apply yourself.   

One user, David H, wrote of the NoPhone, “I used to sleep with my phone in my hand, but my night terrors would cause me to hurl it across the room in an unconscious panic. With the NoPhone, I can still enjoy the comfort of holding a phone in my sleep, without waking up to a shattered screen. Thanks, NoPhone.”

Frequently Asked Questions for the NoPhone:

Does it have a camera?

No.

Is it Bluetooth compatible?

No.

Does it make calls?

No.

Is it toilet bowl resistant?

Yes.

 

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