A sketch on this last weekend’s Saturday Night Live expertly dissected the completely ridiculous “woke” trope tossed around by the identity politics crowd in the form of a slick Levi’s jeans parody.
The commercial begins with the actors complaining that current jeans styles are too gender-, age-, body type-, and status-specific. Something needs to change, so, a hashtag is born: “You don’t know me, jeans.”
“I’m not a style… I’m not a size… That’s not me,” the ad states.
“I’m me… I’m unique… I’m woke… So, why aren’t my jeans?” it continues.
The big reveal is the most absurd and laughable pair of pants set in a style not seen since MC Hammer danced in music videos. And as any “woke” pair of jeans would be, these are “sizeless” and “style-neutral” using only “gender non-conforming denim,” of course.
Woke jeans are made for “a generation that defies labels.”
“What’s my size?” a Woke jeans wearer asks. “Why don’t you try asking about my accomplishments?”
The only size these jeans come in are “size me.”
“They fit every body, because they fit no body,” the tagline suggests.
And don’t even think about asking what colors they come in. That would be triggering. The only color is “greb” which isn’t brown but also “not not brown.”
The pockets are also sold separately because, “Who says I have hands?”
“You gettin’ this yet? The jeans are woke!”
The pants also feature a patented “uni-fly” which zips from the front all the way to the back. It’s “180 degrees of gender non-conformity” when you go to the bathroom.
And best of all, Woke jeans aren’t made in some foreign factory with Indonesian kids. “They’re made right here in the U.S.A. by white kids.”
We have to give credit where credit is due. SNL nailed this one.
But the wokest of all is Admiral Tug Benson from Hot Shots. He was woke before woke existed: