The People's Cube: What to Do When a Refugee Crushes on You?

A good woman always knows her progressive place.

Editor's Note: If you're not familiar with the brilliant work of Oleg Atbashian and his contributors at The People's Cube satirical website - "America Through the Eyes of a Former Soviet Agitprop Artist" - then go here now and bookmark it. Meanwhile check out this sample below, from contributor Neotrotsky:

The Cologne Mayor's recent advice on how women should handle themselves with immigrants/refugees did more harm than good, in terms of our progressive dreams and hopes.

In hopes of perfecting our Progressive world, women must learn their proper progressive place when it comes to state decisions on immigrants and refugees. One must make themselves subservient to the state.

As such, we have put together a helpful guide for progressive women. Copies are free and can be found at any local DNC chapter or local Planned Parenthood. 

Mothers - get one for your daughters. Daughters - get one for your mothers. Fathers - get one for yourself - just in case.

From the guide:

As it comes to the state's wishes, every woman approached for a sexual assault relationship by immigrants/refugees should do the following:

To prepare your progressive state of mind, first ask yourself: Are you a good host to immigrants/refugees?

  • Your goal: try to make sure you are making a “safe space” for them, order and tranquility where your immigrants and refugees can renew himself in body and spirit. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
  • Don't greet him with complaints and problems. Don’t complain if he smells different or even if he won't give you his name or even want to share you with friends. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
  • Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
  • Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or question his integrity. Remember, he is the victim in our racist and xenophobic world and as such will always exercise his ill with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good woman always knows her progressive place.

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