Kathy Griffin's Epic Whinefest: Got It Worse Than Any Woman in U.S. History

Aww, poor thing.

Troubled "comedienne" Kathy Griffin, who’s beginning to look more like Pee Wee Herman is starting a Eurythmics cover band, can’t book work in the United States. Over the weekend, the D-lister performed a show in Vienna, Austria, and only has seven shows left in Europe before returning home where she isn’t booked on a single stage from leftist coast to leftist coast.

Griffin has learned the hard way that posing for a picture with an effigy of the president’s bleeding severed head gets you nowhere but on the INTERPOL flight watch-list. And because of the fallout, she has a ton of complaints — whines, really — that she is on the brink of going broke and becoming a Hollywood has-been. (The secret is, she was already there.) 

Griffin posted a video “oh, woe is me” rant on YouTube, which can be viewed above.

“I’m getting a lot of online hate from trolls who think I’ve lost my mind,” Griffin began before admitting what we already knew: “I’m admitting I lost my mind; it’s what made me a star in the first place.”

Griffin hopes her “honesty” will become “a turning point for feminism and women’s equality.” And it seems that being “honest” means the 57-year-old comedienne-turned-activist thinks it’s unfair she’s being turned down for gigs:

“I’m fully in the middle of a blacklist. Like, I am in the middle of a Hollywood blacklist. It is real. I am not booked on any talk shows. I’m selling tickets worldwide, which is really hard when you don’t have any kind of a television platform, and kind of nobody has your back and everybody thinks you’re crazy.

“I do not have one single day of paid work in front of me.”

Griffin said there’s no way she’s going back to working in clubs for free to build back her audience. “I”ve worked way too hard,” she said.

She is also no longer accepting fund raising requests from other celebrities because she has no money to give: “My legal bills are through the roof, obviously.”

The comedienne is looking for a silver lining by saying all of this happened to her to give a “moment” to the “disenfranchised” — that is other women and the LGBT community — so they can see her “survive with a sense of humor.” Because “hundreds” or “maybe thousands” of people in other countries are buying tickets to her shows, Griffin says, “There is hope out there.”

Mmmkay.

Then came the most outrageous claim of all: that no female in United States history has had it worse than she:

“I think I should be able to get my life back. I know I took a picture that offended a lot of people, but this wall of crap has never fallen on any woman in the history of America like it has on me.”

Why did NO OTHER woman in history have it as bad as Kathy Griffin? Because Fox News wasn’t around back then. (Seriously. That’s what she said.)

“Try to have some compassion,” she concluded. “I’m just trying to bring laughter to people. That’s all I want to do. I wish I was on television. I have two Emmys, which, apparently, doesn’t mean anything. I would love to be on a television show and I want to be paid what the guys are paid.”

Ah, there it is. It’s all about the money, not a “moment for feminism and homosexuals."

Griffin has give herself a new moniker in the wake of the windfall of backlash: “The Mayor of Zerof***sville.”

Which is about as many as the rest of us give about your career. You had a good run. Now, bye.

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